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So for the last sixty years or so, slave owners had formed and joined private gentlemen's clubs, owner's clubs like this one. They'd probably done it before the First Civil War as well, but I didn't know for sure. It was upscale, very expensive to join, and offered a discrete, yet public outlet for these men to enjoy their slaves in the company of other owners.So many of the older women I saw were beautiful and they were dressed much better than I was. I felt very self-conscious in that slutty outfit I was wearing, but Mr. Reiser didn't seem to notice at all. I did see some other girls my age too, black slaves in their teens and dressed rather sexily, even whorish some of them. Perhaps it was an age thing, I wasn't sure, but I definitely noticed that the women in their late twenties or early thirties were all nicely dressed, many of them wearing jewels and gold and looking very proud and pointedly ignoring girls like me. Their white Masters fawned over them, some of them, and it was. I didn't know why she wasn't saying anything. She seemed concerned, apprehensive."Well," she said after a minute and a short breath, "I am *supposed* to stay with you Saturday night, anyway."I did not know what she was getting at or what was going on, or why she emphasized the word "supposed". I do remember the moment clearly. I became very tense; I felt suddenly distant from her and didn't know what was wrong.She asked me pointedly, "Are we still friends, hon?" Sure we are," I said."I mean... are we still really, really friends?"I blushed. "Your my own special, very only, very umpeenth-degree friend." And you're my special little man, hon," she said, but she wasn't smiling, except weakly, sympathetically.We talked a little more, I don't remember what we said. She seemed absent minded. It was not until Saturday night that I discovered what she was thinking.It was all quite complicated. At least, it was for Martha Jane. As an adult I now understand, but as a 9-year-old I could not.
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